I was 19 years old, and I didn’t know much about BDSM...
Before knowing my ex girlfriend, the only thing that I understood BDSM was through the famous erotic series of Fifty Shades, but even since the films came out, I hadn’t watched it at all, so you already have an idea of how little I knew about this kink-filled world. Until I met my ex-girlfriend, who was vocal at the very beginning about her fascination with it. We loved having sex, usually vanilla sex in each other’s home. Some slapping might happen when nobody’s at home, but never toys. My ex-girlfriend shared with me her fantasies being humiliated and tied up, and because now that there is someone to explore this subject with, I did not hesitate to do more research - from the official definition being an abbreviation of the group of words: Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism, to learning how to degrade and torture. I also discovered how it is much more than fast whips that leave red marks all over and other pain inflictions.
Under the principles of “Safety, Sanity, Consensus”, BDSM divided into:
B/D, Bondage and Discipline
D/S, Dominance and Submission
S/M, Sadism and Masochism
The moment I wanted to give it a go
was when I truly understood that BDSM is ultimately built on mutual trust and consent, and how people being tortured intriguingly feel this painful or uncomfortable pleasure. At the end, I wanted my ex to feel good, and if being uncomfortably good is something for her, why not? We eventually had a discussion on what our boundaries were and our choice on verbal and nonverbal safe words, so then we agreed to try it out one day.
At a night out with my friends, I went behind her back and bought
a very cheap beginners’ SM kit at a booth in temple street, where I even tried to bargain for a lower price. I was still a student, so there are not many options for me, but for those who could afford better quality, definitely do not be too conservative on the prices. With first times playing with toys in general, it is more likely to be enjoyable with quality products, to start off on the right foot for the long term. Anyway, the $100 SM kit had many things to play with - a blindfold, handcuffs and legcuffs, a ball gag, a flogger, and a butt plug, all made of obviously cheap plastic and faux leather in red. Nevertheless, 19-year-old me was just satisfied to be able to try something new and my eyes widened in excitement for the surprise I was about to give her.
The opportunity is here.
There was a special occasion a while later, so we booked a hotel to celebrate. Booking a hotel, knowing that you could be as loud as you want, had made such a huge difference in the atmosphere. There was more space and a bigger bed, better for mobility. She was totally clueless about what’s in store for her, but the entire time before the actual day, I had prepared myself and familiarised myself with the toys - how to adjust the cuffs swiftly, of course to avoid as many awkward moments as possible, something I personally would advise to any curious inexperienced folks. That night, she was in the shower getting ready, and I snuck the cuffs, blindfold and ball gag under the pillow for them to be at my magic fingertips. The adrenaline was pumping out of excitement with a bit of nervousness in the mix.
After some foreplay, I blindly reached under the pillow, where the blindfold was hidden, pulled it out and immediately placed it over her eyes. She was obviously pleasantly surprised and even more turned on by this mere act. With her expressions and lack of rejection via our safe word, I took it as a sure sign to continue. Gently caressing her all over her body and especially sensitive areas, I noticed a huge difference in her reactions - more eager and aroused - having a blindfold on was such a game changer, an absolute perfect starting toy.
Now, the beginners’ big guns.
When she thought that was it while blindfolded, I yanked out the cuffs, making sounds of chains clashing, showing to her that I was not at all done with her, inciting a sharp aroused gasp within her. The preparation paid off, and the process of cuffing her arms and legs were really smooth. The restrictions I put on her elevated the sexual tension between us even more. Her desires of being dominated had finally come true, only her under my control. We tried out several sex positions, discovering how much more stimulating it was for the both of us with the addition of the cuffs. The shift in the power dynamic as opposed to toy-less sex was blatant. That night was undoubtedly one of the more unforgettable experiences I’ve ever had, and the only thing I would change is the material of the toys. If they were made into better textures, the experience would surely be elevated even more.
She was in my arms,
With a visibly satisfied look after our first time taking the leap. The bondage toys and blindfold were the very toys that gave me the head start to try other SM toys throughout the years. Apart from the toys, the setting in a hotel room has also made the first time extra special. We could be as loud as we want, with extra space to wiggle! Better still, during this time when tourism is on hold and hotel room prices have dropped, do not hesitate and grasp this chance to spice up your weekend and relationship!
- Beginners’ Kit -
- Blindfolding -
- Bondage -